Sue

Ross Copperman - Holding On and Letting Go

2012-01-09T09:35:00.002+08:00

Is anybody out there?
Is anybody listening?
Does anybody really know if its the end of the beginning?
The quiet rush of one breath
Is all we're waiting for
Sometimes the one we’re taking
Changes every one before..
It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't
It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed
Some prayers find an answer
Some prayers never know
We're holding on and letting go

Sometimes we're holding angels
And we never even know
Don't know if we'll make it,
But we know,
We just can't let it show

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't
It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed
Some prayers find an answer
Some prayers never know
We're holding on and letting go
Yeah, letting go

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't
It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed
Some prayers find an answer
Some prayers never know
We're holding on and letting go

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't
It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed
Some prayers find an answer
Some prayers never know
We're holding on and letting go.

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't
It's one door swinging open and one door swinging closed
Some prayers find an answer
Some prayers never know
We're holding on and letting go

2012-01-01T21:43:00.000+08:00

Closer and closer

Dexter's Lab.

2011-11-27T21:24:00.000+08:00

Monday - Sunday

Alarm sounds.

Snooze for at least 15 minutes

Creep to the toilet to brush my teeth and wash my face.

Back to the room, open up the cupboard, pick the same uniform that I pick everyday.

Dress up. Wear my watch, my socks.

Grab my bag. check the keys in my pocket.

Check if my purse is in my bag. open up the door, lock it.

Wear my shoes. Open and lock another door.

Walk out to the bus stop 50 steps away from my house.

Stare at the direction where the bus is supposed to appear for at least 10 minutes.

Bus appears. Signal bus. Get up, validate the ticket.

Look towards the same seat in the bus, see if its taken.

Settle down. Look out the window.

The same route. Press the button to signal driver to stop.

Get off bus. Cross the road.

Walk up 2 flights of stairs.

Punch card.

Welcome back to work.

- Off work.

Walk down the same two flight of stairs.

Wait for the bus.

Bus appears. Signal bus. Get up, validate ticket.

Look towards the same seat in the bus, for sure it's not taken.

Settle down. Look out the window.

The same route. Press the button to signal driver to stop.

Get off bus. Cross the road.

Open the first door back home.

Open room door.

Take off shoes, throw room keys on the table.

Bath.

Online for awhile.

Sleep.

Next day... Please read from the beginning.

Badminton Racquet.

2011-10-30T23:44:00.001+08:00

True self reflection only happens when death strikes unexpectedly.

After this moment, everything will be the same, spitting on life when really, no matter how shitty your life is, you're lucky to be alive and kicking.

Lucky to be able to do what he/she didn't get to do.

2011-10-29T22:35:00.003+08:00

Most of the time, people want to feel like they belong somewhere, anywhere. More often than not, they get it from the smiles, the talks, the whispering of secrets from mouth to ears, the pat on the back, and the random phone calls. Uncertain of what to think of the whole situation when those mentioned are the exact things that you get and don't get at the same time. You're really just stuck in the space between yes and no. The grey spot. The blur between black and white. You exist at first and then you cease to exist almost immediately. Maybe it's just like adding a cordial drink into a still glass of water. You're bound to mix, but you just need a little stirring up, a little startling, a little push go before you can really get both liquids to bond.

But maybe, the smiles, the talks, the whispering of secrets from mouth to ears, the pat on the back, and the random phone calls is just not it. It's the afterward that matters. The afterward when it really shows, who meant what they meant. It's not a case of being under a spotlight but simply wanting to be remembered. Remembered without having to pour a whole lot of desperation out. It's pretty tiring trying to constantly remind yourself to remind others. It's not important but it definitely matters more than a tad bit.

It gets worst before it gets better. Who's dying anyway? Not you I hope.
There's another big wave coming up are you ready? Are you what you think you're made of?

Don't let me down.

2011-10-11T18:30:00.000+08:00

Spring is here and the bugs are running free. I cant believe a normal fly can be as big as my thumb (including the stretch of their disgusting legs). Usually I can just shoo them away but god damn it, these flies are so huge I dare not shoo them with my bare hands. Anyway, I sucked one into the vacuum cleaner cause it came in to my room as I was vacuuming after I got back. Thank god they are slow. I'm a sadist I know.

Anyway, I found out that the two filthy guys are the ones who are playing dr jekyll and mr hyde, trying to make everyone turn against everyone. What's the point dudes? Sorry I forgot that the both of you are like stupid coz you cant even keep the place where you're supposed to clean up, clean.

FUCKING PISSED JUST KILL ME PLEASE.

2011-10-05T11:40:00.000+08:00

Time flies when you're having fun. So true.
A month passed without me noticing.
Gotta go back to that jungle once more.
Imagining the things that I gotta do after I get back.
3000 words essay, studio submission in 2 weeks, music composing.

I didn't touch a shyt for a month.
Can I not go back to that?

Anything is fine. No really.

2011-08-23T15:16:00.029+08:00

Ok so I was caught in this situation today.

In order to protect this person I gave him/her a special name ; X

and my name will be, nothing, well I'm the one answering everything aight.

Their all phone messages.

X : Let's eat together tonight okay?

Yay! Okay sure what are we having?

X : Mmm, maybe pizza okay? Got promotion tonight.

* Yay! Pizzaaaaa *

Alrighty, no problemo.

xxxxxxxx

This is where it BEGINSSSSSS.

Blergh *

X : What kind of pizza you like?

Anything is fine for me haha

X : You like cheese?

Can also la no worries just add or subtract whatever.

X : You like a lot or little?

I eat anything and everything so don't worry and order what you like cause I sure eat one

X : Ok I like to put a lot one.

Yayy cheeeessseee *

X : Eh you like thin or thick crust?

* This is where I speak Tamil in one breath *

You just order what you like okay? Im fine with anything.

Beef, pork, chicken, mutton, fish, prawn, deer, cow, shark, turtle, flamingo, lion, tiger, dragon also I eat and cheese, no cheese, a lot of cheese, one dot of cheese also okay with thin crust, thick crust, extremely thin crust, ultra thick crust, no crust, fat crust, obese crust, anorexic crust, bulimic crust, bitchy crust, idiotic crust, whatever mother fucking crust also okay.

wokay tangachi?

( I added/hyperbola-ed some of course )

* Phew, release the excess oxygen *

X : You like cheese crust?

OMFFFGKKJMCHBBQ*

Cheese crust, veg crust, meat crust,

chocolate crust, crust-less also FINE

Round crust, square crust, fine crust,

triangle crust, hexagon crust also OK!

X : Mmm okay la. See you later.

YES!

YATA!

At this moment, I truly believe that heaven exists.

UNTIL...

X : So...

What drinks do you like?

JOKING.

We're still friends, though I'm such a bitch for doing a post about this

HEE HEE!

Lighters - Eminem

2011-08-20T18:30:00.002+08:00

This one’s for you and me, living out our dreams
We’re all right where we should be
Lift my arms out wide I open my eyes
And now all I wanna see
Is a sky full of lighters
A sky full of lighters

17 August 1990

2011-08-17T15:19:00.006+08:00

Just wanna say Happy Birthday! to my baby darlin'!

Will celebrate again with you after I get back aight!

Forgive me for not being there.

For now.....

I send this baby with a card to you first okay?

HEHE!

XOXO <3

Metaphorical

2011-08-12T19:52:00.009+08:00

Sometimes, simplicity is just hidden beneath the pile of complications you decided to put upon.

Like those old clothes in your cupboard that's been there for years. When asked to dispose, you just can't fucking do it cause you think that you should keep it even though you know you would not wear those clothes no more. It's just, the unwanted gut feeling that you have when throwing away what's been there for so long. People are afraid of changes no matter big or small.

So I ask, if you keep those unattractive clothes for another 2,3,4 or maybe 10 years, will it magically do you any good? The style of those clothes will not change, the age of it will not change, the look you have wearing them will not change either. If it doesn't work anymore, throw it out, dispose it, recycle it, give it away, whatever it is as long as you let go. Maybe someone else would like it more than you do, maybe the recycled clothes can help sew someone else's torn clothes. You wouldn't know.

Also because of these old clothes, you over-use the ones that you love to wear so much and eventually wearing them out. While you're doing that, you shut away the chances of storing new and lovely ones into your wardrobe and also unable to let some of your favorite clothes take a breather so they don't wear out so quickly. Sooner or later, your whole wardrobe will be filled with worn out, over used clothing and you'd be left with nothing but yourself.

Letting go is never easy.

But it isn't that hard either.

Bugs

2011-07-29T01:47:00.000+08:00

High above the sky I was friends with the moon
Look at my watch and the date came too soon
As I drew lines across the sky way up high
I'm pulled back by the weight of our goodbye
I'd dry your eyes as you dry mine in our sleep
I've never been in a dream, a dream so deep
Everywhere I went, I see me and my clothing
The most precious belonging, I cannot bring
The air that I breath seemed so unfamiliar
But it's just what I need, it's all similar
My heart pounds as the night came out to play
My reflection is gone in the mirrors as I stray
I looked to the left, I looked to the right
Superman does not exist, alone I had to fight

C + S

2011-07-23T23:02:00.002+08:00

I just wished for a lot of wishes...

But I don't even care now...

Coz I do know that...

You know...

Always

make me forget.

2011-06-18T05:01:00.000+08:00

Recently, I've seen more than what I should have seen. If I had the chance to go back to just perhaps recently, I would've chosen to not see or hear what this person had to say, or do.

I am not surprised by the actions but I am utterly disappointed by the way you disrespected everyone who showered you with much of their time and most certainly cared much about you.

The whole damn scene was just so wrong and disturbing and its set on replay in my head for days and days now. How stupid of you to throw it all away. You sold yourself cheap for temporary gains. I hope you're happy that you gained little and lost big.

All the while I knew you were a liar and a person who is extremely selfish but I hung on to the fact that everything can be forgiven because you are you and you are an important figure. But at this very moment, this moment while I am typing this pethatic little post about you, I find myself feeling so frustrated and numb at the same time.

Perhaps, knowing that this is the moment where I accept the fact that you are a foolish bastard.
I'm just gonna tell myself... Here we go again another one of my best books has just left my top shelf.

2011-06-04T03:26:00.002+08:00

It's funny how we can be with thousands of people in a concert,
but feel totally alone when one of your best companies ain't there.

2011-05-07T01:43:00.002+08:00

Even typing became difficult

2011-04-14T02:54:00.003+08:00

I wish I could do much better.
Better than what I am capable of now.

I probably share the same thought
with every other being on earth.

up up here we glow

2011-02-27T02:22:00.002+08:00

so many things changed
but so many remained the same
alot seemed strange
yet we're still in the game

sometimes i sit in darkness
but the day always comes
sometimes i sense the lackness
yet i hear beautiful beat of the drums

people knock on my doors
i might just give my all
there are those who lock my doors
but i'd still rebuild after the fall

there's always a shield held in my hands
coz im ever ready to fight
no i don't have any bag with brands
i just know i'm living my life quite right

there is a constant urge for all things fresh
but doesnt mean i'd throw away the old
like these memories that breath under these flesh
they make me a person who is very bold

so i've heard many other crazy stories
they could be right and also wrong
so they flew from many different countries
to me, it is just some outta tuned song

i am a liar but yes, i speak the truth
the best and the worst in my mouth
i gargle them up under my roof
to sell them away, i'd set up a booth

long whinded i could be so ever
but sense i make more than a mere
i hide from the ugliness of the earth
here i stand with nothing to fear

losing the best perhaps is for the best
i believe they are all similar
if theres a god then i assume its a test
to put me in a place i am not familiar

my story just ended before i could start
they are totally random i know
i swear i am no retard
i hope when anyone of you are dim

you'd all glow.

Tracing Paper.

2011-01-29T01:47:00.000+08:00

Sleepless nights with eyes wide open
The loner's hearts content is left unspoken
Every flicker made by the stars are a special token
The ultimate recipe to leave a heart broken

In the night the silence is deafening
The ache under this skin is life threatening
No one knows the outcome of the coming
If all goes wrong you won't see me running

There are many distractions for us all.
Some will build us some will make us fall.
Many excuses can make us look so tall.
But in the big picture we're just really small.

FUJIFILM Instax Mini 7

2011-01-11T02:16:00.004+08:00

Planning on getting a polaroid. Well, not planning but seriously am getting one. Just for fun.
Wanna be all spontaneous and shyt by snapping " moments ".

Right. Nice? No?

1.47

2011-01-06T01:46:00.001+08:00

People say that if all the doors are closed, God will definitely leave a window open.

Sure. There's an opening, an escape but did I not tell you that my doors are all closed, and yes, there's the window option waiting for me. The only problem here is that I am living on the 15th floor. Though I know, the choices will always exist, waiting for us to pick any of them up. But like every situation we face, the question to ask is how do we know if we are making the right choices at all?

I'm straying off course and the words of a random man has got me thinking...

Beggars Can't Be Choosers.

2010-12-15T01:45:00.002+08:00

I gotta say that things around here are starting to make no sense. Do I call it unfair or do I call it the epic fate? There was a plan, there was always a plan, I stuck to it, thinking that I'd be safe across the bridge if I only followed the intended directions. I know I did not glide to the end of the line but I did not break the rules I stayed in line and I finished my race. Even so, I have to wait with the disqualified contestants as if I cheated my way through. This is not the end of the world, I know, yet, I am angered by the fact that they could look me in the eye filled with promises before I got myself into this deal and then at the very end, looked me straight in to my eyes again telling me that they are all lies. I walked the talk and I got to the end and I turned back to find out that no one was behind my back. I stand alone, at the end of the bridge witnessing every single person crossing over to the land of pandora and all I could do is sit and stare at my watch, waiting for my time. I learned a very important lesson that is to not put all your eggs into one basket. Heck, why do you even wanna put eggs into baskets? Aight I'm done with these classic i-am-so-fucked post. HEE HEE!

Heard about the guy who literally died on facebook?
Poor idiot. Oh well, at least there's one less idiot wasting our resources and polluting our oxygen supplies on earth.

Oh and I thought, with FB, who needs the obituary section in the newspapers?

I'm out! HEEE HEEE!

2010-12-14T03:33:00.001+08:00

Tick Tock

Mini D

2010-11-21T02:23:00.004+08:00

If somehow we can see the light together
We would be traveling on a road to better
In the different shades of the many colours
We are far away from the ordinary others

In this fast paced competition we are still
We are dancing, we are our ecstacy pill
When we get so tired of walking the walk
I know we'd still walk the walk that we talk

What's right & who's wrong is not for us to decide
It's a free trip we've got that comes with no tour guide
Our footprints can only be made on the seaside sands
That's the best way to keep our praying hands

HA HA HA.

2010-11-15T23:30:00.005+08:00

However the moon shines outside my little window
I still miss the streets filled with people I'd follow
Try as I may I would never know what to say
I just miss looking up while I say come what may
Failed I did in so many ways I'm proud of and not
As a human being I hope you know I'm not a god
Someone told me that I could be anything I wanna be
Who doesn't wanna do whatever they want and be free
Seems like we are missing the point around here
To be carefree you just gotta down a mountain of beer
Care only for what does not return a punch when you kick it
But I'm not saying you gotta pick a dead like piece of shyt
I am just having random thoughts about airplanes in the night skies
Guess they are not shooting stars they don't take away goodbyes
I am kinda sick of saying everything that starts with the word I
Really maybe coz it's as simple as eating an apple pie
Seemed so long since I've told the story of the truth that I thought
Like some kind of different directioned wind blow or some sort
I have got nothing more left besides a few bucks in my pocket
Don't try to make me do things like building a rocket
Perhaps building a rocket could be thought of as a possibility
It is just a dream without the slightest bit of sense of reality
Could even get famous for singing she bangs and jiggle for a bit
Be aware of your surroundings though it's still scenes
True when I say words will spill out like beans

Maybe... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !

Solace.

2010-11-05T01:16:00.004+08:00

I have fallen and the breeze just scooped me up from the deep ends of hell.
There must be an angel by my side somewhere but I really couldn't tell.
I know the devil never stops playing his funny little games with me.
I was buried alive and in the dark I noticed how much my eyes couldn't see.
With just so much oxygen left in that rectangular box time just slips past.
That once blurry figure tells me that the light I saw yesterday isn't my last.
True enough that night fall is inevitable but morning always comes right after.
It could be a birthday celebration here and there a ceremony in a funeral parlor.
But it doesn't matter rain or shine, the rainbow will never lose it's few basic colour.

I know you write your words in a book for me.
I know you write your words big so I can see.
I might and might not be what you want me to be.
All I know is what I have is you and you've got me.

_________________________________________________________

Ms. Regrets are you home yet?
:)

2010-10-21T00:25:00.004+08:00

When something is asked for, and not given,
we'd want it so much more badly.

When it is given when not asked for,
we'd turn it down cause it seems too easy.

Time to pack your bags and leave.

2010-10-16T11:28:00.004+08:00

Di-Rect - Inside My Head

Is it wise enough to say
That I'm better off without you
Is it cool enough to fake
Cause all that I've been breathing is about you

Is it wise enough to flow
From the head until my toes
But somehow I don't really know
All that I've been doing is without you

Is it you inside my head
Is it you inside who says
That I'll become someone else

And on and on my mind keeps saying
This is not what I believe in
This is where it ends
And on and on my mind is made up that
That is why it never stops
Alone again, alone again

Is it you inside my head
Is it you inside who says
That I'll become someone else

I didn't know that you're buzzing right through inside my head
I didn't know that you're coming right through inside my head
I didn't know that you're buzzing right through
I didn't know that you're coming right through
I didn't know, I didn't know, I didn't know

Tell me
Is it you inside my head
Is it you inside who says
Is it you inside my head

Songs with lyrics that fit so well with the situation can only
bring you through the night. You gotta rise from the ashes.
Come home, it's getting cold outside Ms.Regrets.

SomewhereOverTheRainbow,WayUpHigh

2010-10-15T22:54:00.007+08:00

2010-09-30T13:48:00.001+08:00

I lost my will.

12:43 AM

2010-09-26T23:31:00.002+08:00

In a blink of an eye, thousands of minutes had gone by.
Yet, the hands of the same clock still catches my eye.
For all the times that I've chosen to scrape out.
Finally, after missing out, I knew what it was all about.

I never knew the winds could put me up sky high.
Never knew, rainbows could turn out to be a beautiful lie.
I lost my vision once but god decided to gimme back.
My final destination got nearer though I'm outta track.

There's a little bit of up and there's a little bit of down.
Only the thing that keeps me afloat can make me drown.
It's like having a window that brightens up my space.
Once the door opens, it's as if I've won the race.

This song that I am singing will never come to an end.
Along the begging streets of hell I've found a friend.
The thing that keeps this fragile little heart from death.
Is a light that stayed though I was left with my last breath.

Slide Through Your Walls.

2010-09-16T02:13:00.003+08:00

Sits in the dark, middle of the night.
A big portrait of black ink, a box of light.

Tapping sounds, made from 10 drum sticks.
The caller is a calling for a few magic tricks.

Up the corner, down the mighty hill.
Left a glass of water, right a chill pill.

The record went on and on as the moon shines.
Drums stopped playing right after a few lines.

The current runs from left to right and left again.
A sudden short circuit ignites a fire of pain.

The two torches are starting to burn out.
The off button is sending static out to scout.

The grounds are shaking as the ceiling is awake.
The walls came down it wasn't a mistake.

Tapping sounds came on again so randomly.
So random that the planes crashed so perfectly.

KCW6SEPT.

2010-09-06T03:06:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday to The Annoying Orange!

03.

2010-09-03T00:16:00.001+08:00

If you turn your head and you see all black and white.
Then you know you lost your heart but not your sight.
Dreams die when reality starts to take a bite.
The only way to hold on is to stop your fight.

When you care nothing else but that one thing.
You fall hard and harder than falling from a swing.
It is easier than you think to just fade away.
Your bones are breaking as your face is on display.

Comfort is a fairytale story made up with a plot.
Survivor of today don't you rather die on the spot?
Appreciation comes in many different turns.
If shown badly good luck as your skin it burns.

No knife can cut your flesh as deep as this.
It's not all rainbows and butterflies sealed with a kiss.
Sacrificed your pawn but that move just ain't smart.
Please stop singing " I'm goin back to the start "

Is the old new start really a fresh start?
Or is it another chance to see yourself depart?
Is this just another scene of a death sentence?
Or is this the way reality shows disacceptance?

Just gonna stand there and...

2010-08-18T18:02:00.000+08:00

Thanks Pig for today.

<3 * vomit *

2010-08-11T02:24:00.001+08:00

No, I don't need another explanation.
I just need another vacation.

Buttons.

2010-08-07T03:19:00.000+08:00

Simple, that's all.

Don't drive too fast, don't drive too fast
The immobilized just made you an outcast
Don't walk too slow, don't walk too slow
Your little pace is taking away your glow
Travel down the streets towards the alley
Land yourself right into the monsters belly
Past the stages of the undefeated combat
Leap by leap you cross over don't you fret
Times that are dead has kept you alive
Times that are behind can never revive
Walking in the shadows of your disguise
In the shade of gray there are heartfelt lies
Shy away from your own lonely shadow
The next season comes and it's stone cold

Elliot Yamin, Wait For You?
What a coincidence pig =)

Too soon.

2010-08-02T06:17:00.001+08:00

" Though no effort is gonna be put in,
Will you still be here for me? "

I know I'll be.

Goodbye My Lover from Venice.

2010-07-22T06:03:00.004+08:00

If I'm not remembered and not missed.
I'd understand and get the gist.
As the seas carry me from place to place.
I'd bring along your sweet sweet embrace.
With a bit of bitterness under my tongue.
I'd sing the song that I've never sung.
Over the mountains above the fluffy clouds.
Along the streets amongst the random crowds.
Alone I stand in my own atmosphere.
A smile is hiding the sign of a tear.
Drink as much as there is to drink.
Your image remains even after I blink.
Thousands of people I stand with on land.
Like millions of hair, I am barely a strand.
Your image is gone and your smell is fading.
It is you and only you I am missing.
No I don't wanna go home seeing what I hate.
I know I'm almost there but I am too late.

Random London.

2010-07-19T04:52:00.000+08:00

Starin' out my window pane
Thinkin' I have gone insane
Walkin' down the memory lane
Will all ever stay the same
After we go on that plane
After we get back by that train
Will our lives go down the drain
If there is no pain then
There will be no gain
You and I whose to blame
In this twisted video game
Issues we can't complaint
Events we can't contain
Let loose and stay plain
I start to see no restraint
Talk about you and me
Way back when we sung lemon tree
How do we say how do we
There's a locked door to eternity
Long messages short replies
No longer flying in the skies
Now you leave as you go
Take big steps don't tip toe

Greetings from Newcastle.

2010-07-17T08:31:00.002+08:00

I'm at Newcastle now asswipes!
and I'm gonna be flying to Italy on the 18th.
Almost a week later I'm gonna be back in London.
Then Paris on the 31st of July if i'm not mistaken.

Till then, this emo blog will be on leave.
He He.

Have fun everyone!

Mathory.

2010-06-30T01:27:00.000+08:00

No one knew what was the story behind.
It'll all end up together like a book you bind.
How did it all go when it turned from white to black.
How did sleeping beauty turn into an insomniac.
A clock that does not tell time tells much more.
Playing on the field does not mean you'd score.
If all were given another opportunity to turn.
The fire that kisses your hands will still burn.
If one were to put all words in a form of numbers.
The math still adds up to a series of blunders.
A step forward will still sum up to a step back.
The perfect vision will never again be perfect.
Wonders, there are, still, of really what's real.
Honesty has left nothing but a lonesome trail.

I

2010-06-27T05:06:00.006+08:00

I, haven't gave it much thought before.
I, never want to think of what's in store.
I, am beginning to feel impermanent.
I, never seen it as something important.
I, just can't fucking get it out of my head.
I, am dreaming though I'm out of my bed.
I, don't want to walk alone on these grounds.
I, never thought we'd end up having bounds.
I, cannot see what those eyes had seen.
I, will never be where those feet had been.
I, wish the clock does not tick it all away.
I, lied when I said what I had to say.
I, was afraid to face the mirror straight on.
I, didn't want to see a face that is torn.
I, somehow know all that's been hiding beneath.
I, shall finally admit that I am an unskilled thief.
I, should've, could've, would've, done much more.
I, am now just living life through a straw.
I, know the hardest word is sorry.
I, know I tell the same old story.

2010-06-25T00:14:00.006+08:00

It's how these hands lose its grip. When all the warmth within has evaporated into thin air. Though the fire you hold within it is starting to cook up the whole forest, your heart is still in need of much defrosting. Hold your face together, it is what's needed. Haunting your little story may be so very haunting but you know it ain't easy swimming in the big ocean cause you don't know where you are swimming to and what is swimming under and exactly how long you can swim anyways. When all else fails, you are the one at fault cause you failed to keep yourself afloat. No truth can cover up your lies and no lies can cover up your truth. Your receptors tells you exactly where you are standing and if they, too, fail to work, then you gotta figure out a way to make a way. Flying sky high is just a second away from falling down low. Like a bird shot off from the skies. A head shot, an immediate death.

If the pirate gives up his whole pirating life, it is probably because when one day he finally set foot on treasure island, he eventually found a treasure chest with nothing but sand inside. Even the deadliest people on earth get cold feet. We're no different.

2010-06-20T05:09:00.001+08:00

Welcome home, please press E to engage project Evaporation.

2010-06-16T01:10:00.001+08:00

Tired.

Simple.

2010-06-14T00:02:00.000+08:00

Never knew what empty's like till the filled up glass was empty.
For you use the word I too much it takes you away shamelessly.
Turned the pages too quickly, your fingers collides with the edges.
A strum on the guitar is all it takes to tear down the bridges.
Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong you sang the wrong song.
You held your fist too tightly your game you cannot prolong.
Traveling around against the hands of your ever ticking clock.
Of all the cards you picked, you picked the one saying road block.
Writing your book with the out and dark as your main story.
You walk through thorns that cuts not only your skin but you mainly.
You bleed not only the blood of your own but also the innocent.
The disease that lives in you has no cure and has got no treatment.
Your ego has brought you less of what the more you thought about.
Now you're so ashamed of what you used to shout to the crowd.
You see light as it bounces of your mirror and straight into your eyes.
You see no road ahead as all you see is thousands of tries.
It all falls down to one simple word which is known as simple.
Just one fine word gets locked in and that will be your temple.

WHAYILMBEFGMABALHAW.

2010-06-07T01:25:00.006+08:00

The truth is always twisted in it's own ways and it is never a hundred percent true as it is always a mixture of actual fact and a little bit of deceit to tone down the impact of the real truth.

So, I lie.

Evaporation.

2010-06-05T04:06:00.003+08:00

How do you explain or describe a certain something that is so invisible and so intangible that it is almost close to nothing at all?

I guess that's what we call feelings and trust me they are nasty. They are like little robots living within your mind and soul making you hate and love things. Seriously, it is very hard to put these nasty things into words cause somehow they don't make sense. One minute you're gonna go head over heels for something and another moment, the total opposite. Does this apply to most of the human beings out there or is it just me? I wonder.

Human relations, it's a really funny thing. Some people just walks into your life and you feel as if they've been in your life... your whole life and like wise, some people might be in your life for such a long time but heck they are such strangers to yourself, don't understand them at all and don't intend to.

Between one human and another, to my point of view, there's a flame in within. They are like plants, after you plant the seed, you gotta water and fertilize it cause if you don't it'll just die. Of course, if too much of watering, it might die too. Too much of anything is no good, too little is equally bad. Darn, it's so hard. Oh but not forgetting that there are those with green hands, it's just so natural for them, they don't need to do much and that damn plant grows beautifully. Too much metaphor? Maybe.

I guess I thought that I had green hands but to my surprise, my plants are dying, maybe I put the wrong fertilizer into them or the water I'm using is poisoned. I wonder, again.

Part of a song.

2010-06-04T02:27:00.001+08:00

Jason Walker - Down

" I don’t know where I’m at
I’m standing at the back
And I’m tired of waiting
Waiting here in line, hoping that I’ll find what I’ve been chasing.

I shot for the sky
I’m stuck on the ground
So why do I try, I know I’m gonna to fall down
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?
Never know why it’s coming down, down, down.

Not ready to let go
Cause then I'd never know
What I could be missing
But I’m missing way too much
So when do I give up what I’ve been wishing for. "

Dramaticity.

2010-06-03T02:28:00.003+08:00

To what's bestowed upon me, is what I've bestowed upon you.

Recently there's a whole lot of finger pointing matters taking place/took place.
Come to think of it, these events will never stop occurring as long as human beings still exist amongst one another. To my knowledge, a fire won't just ignite by itself if someone or something from somewhere hadn't done a certain something to light up the fires.
Lucky for you and me, if it is only a small fire that burns out with a clap of our hands.
Unfortunate, if these fires spread so rapidly it tears the whole forest down, with that, it will only mean one thing, fucked.

In the recent events, I've learned and seen so much of ungracious truths that leaves the air tasting like mud in a cup of water. Cloudy and unclear. Though really, everyone had a fair share of placing mud into the waters.

People all around, as close as they can be, they can just take you up sky high or bury you down low. Love, is somewhat questionable. There's so much to be said but really, does it matter?
The damage is done and I am no Jesus, I don't go around touching people's hands saying
" Father forgive them for they know not what they do ". I do not know what kind of person I am or was but I am pretty sure I didn't deserve to be degraded and deflated so badly until a stage where I'm almost beyond repair. I, built with flesh and bones could only stand so much of soul intrusion.

Believe me when I say it only takes a small stain to ruin the whole dress. No matter how much effort you put into sewing that goddamn dress, if it's stained, it's stained. Worst is when you've tried so many ways to clean it off but the stain just won't go.

Frustrated much? I just wish I didn't have to hear more of whatever coz every word is a disappointment. Maybe I deserved it. I wouldn't know. Do you?

2010-05-29T02:12:00.000+08:00

I have absofuckinglutely no idea what's going on.

Airplanes.

2010-05-27T00:31:00.002+08:00

I can't seem to whisper correctly as I spoke in my dreams.
I know the waters looked shallow but nothing's as it seems
Every step I took I could feel my pulse thumping under my skin.
I saw the end of the line with my chances stretched so thin.
Even if I stumble upon this golden light again it won't fit.
Another stage of this video game is another chance to split.
I live in outer space my whole life that I can't get used to earth.
Maybe this preception is injected into me ever since birth.
I'm ready to face down my demons if I was given a chance.
If only I could pull the trigger and not break my tough stance.
The intangibility of my fairy tale dreams is wearing me out.
What's the certainty of things when everything clings on a doubt.
Sometimes I keep my eyes closed just to see it all clearly.
See if it's absolutely right to let go of what I hold onto dearly.
I tried to fit the same damn square into the same damn circle.
It's like I'd rather now choose to stay on the ground as I stumble.
What could be more terrifying if not this feeling of inadequacy.
Cry my tears while I kneel down before God to beg for mercy.
Questions after questions but who's gonna give me a definite answer.
The urge of finding for an urge is turning itself into a form of cancer.
This disease shall leave one day when I don't see no obstacle.
I'm not hoping for a cure but I'm just hoping for a miracle.

" Can we pretend that airplanes, in the night sky, are like shooting stars
I could really use a wish right now. "

为什么.

2010-05-16T19:45:00.005+08:00

爱情不是一加一所以你所要的答案不是透过一个计算机就可以按得出一个正确的答案。爱情其实可以很简单，但是人总是喜欢一个充满烦脑的生活所以感情线上要搞得乱七八糟才能觉得痛快。但有一个愿意为你而付出所有的人把自己呈现给你自己的时候你就不觉得没有什么大不了而且也因为这个想法而做出某些会伤害他的东西。这是因为你自己觉得这个所谓的他无论如何也不会离去你自己所以你自己做错了也觉得是理所当然的事情。在这个世界上，我们是有很多很多的疑问也很多很多的不确定。有些事情是自己心理起了作用而搞得自己心理不平衡而做出自己会超级后悔的行动。其实，有时候你的头脑里面怎么想是最后会被你的心影响到你的判断。过后的每一举每一动是很明显被你所谓的理想判断而弄出一个很黑暗的场合。虽然你是百分百的不同意你自己的做法可是你是控制不了你自己的。到最后被困扰的他会问你自己一个很容易但也是最难回答的一个问题 - 为什么。我只能说的是，对不起。有一些东西不是一瞬间爆发出来而是慢慢的好像一杯水放在水管下让水一滴一滴的流进杯里一直到有一天滴满了的水自自然然的流出杯子外。第一次无所谓，第二次还可以容忍，第三次快要受不了了让后就没准备好就被推出去打了几个血战。我没输我也没赢，最后在这几个回合里面得到的不只是伤痕但也在心里面烫下了一个很深的疤痕。虽然过后那道伤口是回复了可是单凭一个小小的碰撞伤口也会隐隐的作痛。

心病还需心药医可是药已经没效力了那要怎样去医呢？

2010-05-09T15:49:00.003+08:00

Today is officially the day I put a full stop onto my filled up piece of paper.
Filled up with an experimental time travelling door installation information.

Clearly, it failed.

Crush it, squeeze and mold the paper into a ball, aim, and into the dustbin it goes.

" There's always two sides to a story "

2010-05-03T02:00:00.001+08:00

Maybe the pace was set too quick and the shoes that were worn were as heavy as a concrete brick. That's why walking, becomes such a hard task to carry out which is totally absurd.

This fact cannot be accepted as the idea of a human being not being able to master the art of walking is just freakishly eye popping, in the most nerve wracking way.

Think, metaphorically.

It's literally putting a gun into my hands and asking me to please shoot. Just fucking shoot me in the head where my brains do not exist. Don't exist but, I took that shot, but it did not shut down, well, how could something just die when it simply didn't exist in the first place.

The beast is just too big to be hidden in my closet. It's tail is starting to show. I swear I hid it so well that I didn't even remember the existence of it. I could've gotten a prize for the best hiding of beasts in closet award. Somehow, somewhere, I just don't know how, my cute lil beast just got lured out. Constant food offerings?

I am amazed how similar the whole cycle could be. I thought I was enjoying the view from the peak. I thought I ran far far away from the little story book of little susan b anthony, but it was funny how I ended up in page 1 again. Only this time, I'm a little taller ahem, a little fatter, a little smarter well, not so smart, and I own a car of my own. Back then I still had to ride a bike and pay for a cab.

Anyway, trying is not gonna be enough and I thought excuses would grow up as I grow older. Funny, how excuses could be so similar now compared to then. Ironically, I guess, we're like our excuses too, we never really grow do we?
The same ones are being used too often that the effect is wearing off.

Chapter 1, here I am. Again. What's next? Is it time to grow up yet?

A Dangerous Greeting.

2010-04-25T22:45:00.001+08:00

I walk through the fuzz of my voice as I spoke to the air.
I wish I could see clearly, more clearly than these pair.
Where do I land if I randomly picked a point to jump?
Do I end up being the richest or with stitches in a slump?
These pair of ears had heard too much of nothingness.
Your actions are gold but your constant talking is worthless.
Everything becomes a challenge when you're crippled.
Put up so high, yourself, but in my eyes you are belittled.
Your face is no longer a welcome sign hung on the main door.
The road ahead is blocked by what you had in store.
Throw to me your words that are simmered and sieved.
I will catch it like a letter that's sent but not recieved.

...and they say, don't stop believing..

2010-04-19T19:20:00.001+08:00

Like a mafucking bitch. I should've at least expected something like this to rise from what I thought was a pile of ashes. They don't just die like that. They live forever like bloody zombies until you got the ability to kill them. Well apparently right now, no one has the fucking balls to tie this mother fucking bitch down. Just so you bitches know, talk is fucking cheap and you've been talking a lot you cheapskates. I wish I could do something about it besides sitting here, typing a whole lot of crap just to satisfy my anger. Why oh why do I have to be a pawn in this chess game, one that's sent forth to take shots for other bitches behind me and gets thrown back into a box after a few moves. I don't wanna be like you but I guess you influence me too much that I think I don't realize how much I am like you, what I dread to be for always. I don't wanna be good for nothing like you. A selfish bitch that cuts everyone with a knife, that cares for nothing other than yourself. Myself.

Fuck.

One man's meat is another man's poison.

2010-04-12T04:13:00.001+08:00

It was like a twister just passed by. Before I could blink my eyes, my whole world changed. The roof that used to be on top of my head sat across the field where the playground I grew up with used to be, before the twister came.

I've never expected much from this little town that I am in and there were so many times when I stood outside my front door thinking, damn, this town will never change. Ever.

Though it sounded like a sour thought but the truth is, I loved this little town that I am in and I secretly adored the whole " remaining the same after so long " fact. It makes me feel like I belong here.

Unfortunately, when this high velocity dust wind came by, it blew everything that I put together apart. Lost at the very beginning I was, as it came screaming " surprise! " right in front of my face.

But, I guess it's true that everyone moves on. Everyone adapts to whatever situation they are in and rebuild whatever that's torn down. So I guess that's what I did.

I tried so very hard to make my little town look exactly the same way as it was, each building, each lamp post, each road sign, like nothing happened, and nothing changed. Sadly, I only managed to bring back not more than half of the original view back.

I wake up everyday, and I stand at my doorstep, looking at my new town and I realized that my memories of the old town that I loved so much is merely a fog of white as the beautiful picture before had totally transformed itself into a somewhat Picasso looking painting.

The old painting will always be hung on the wall. I'd always see it but never the same way again. Right now, what I have is a new town that's turning into my new old one.

I'll always be missing the old town but I won't deny that the thought is decreasing by the day.

Time is a really good concealer but it's never the best.

Rawr! SHUTS!

2010-04-05T23:16:00.001+08:00

Stepping away from the stepping away.
Before you hit the ground you forgot to pray.
Your head slams on the cold hard floor.
Sorry, I was late, I was just locking my door.
Your last moments were spent looking back.
Finally figured out how to run that track.
Last thing before your eyes was a ray of light.
You left as a fighter who failed to fight.
I could've held you back but I just arrived.
If I was a little earlier, you could've survived.
I got to see your face I got to close your eyes.
Under the rain that's falling from the skies.

I discovered.

Colorado.

2010-03-24T00:08:00.002+08:00

Easy as they come, easy as they go
Sometimes it's hard to go with the flow
It's a shame to know what you know
Cause it makes you stay and it makes you go
Miles of traveling to and fro
White as a piece of paper, black as a crow

What's clenched in your fist is about to blow
Black eyes turns white as it turns hollow
Chances don't pick up they don't follow
Something's in life you just can't borrow

2010-03-20T14:31:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, what they say is right.
Why do you go around scooping up people's shyt anyway?

2010-03-16T17:20:00.001+08:00

Second after second of imbalanced act.

2010-03-15T22:55:00.002+08:00

Minute after minute of consideration.

2010-03-14T22:26:00.000+08:00

Hours and hours of irrationality.

2010-03-10T17:01:00.000+08:00

It's a week of realization.

2010-03-09T23:35:00.001+08:00

It's a month of discoveries.

2010-03-08T21:20:00.001+08:00

It's me.

Motherfuckingboringlikeshytlikethat.

2010-03-04T00:38:00.004+08:00

I knew at that very moment, these would make everyone choose. Nothing's too good to be true and history does repeat itself no matter what. We've mended the past but I suppose it was meant to stay torn in the first place. I broke the rules and I couldn't even keep the promise that I made to myself. The years lost was meant to renovate the future that will come after every tomorrow. I've crossed the line to fix the clock that ticked time away too quickly. The price that I have to pay for my rebellion is far more painful than the trip back. I've expected too many good things and believed that this universe could offer me so much more but somehow it showed me that I'm just one hell of a naive person so desperately wanting to get a chocolate bar from a lollipop factory.

Sometimes you get lost after taking too many turns.
You pick up your phone wanting to seek for a hand that helps but only to realize that,
there's no one that you would want to call for help.

hungry.

2010-03-01T22:49:00.003+08:00

Burn fish
Shisha
Nuggets
Gummy Bears

Heaven.

E.

2010-02-23T17:00:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, you're just so tired of holding on to the steering.
That you'd love to let someone else take over the wheel and drive.
Even if you do find a person that could do that for yourself.
After all, you realized that you still can't let go of the wheel.
And it's always the same old lines circling in your little head.
They blatantly flash themselves through the skin on your face.
You wish, someone would mold your thoughts into reality.
And the people who could do that for you choose to lose you.
You're always running, always moving around.
You don't even know who or what you're running for.
You settle, just to see that you're back, at the beginning.
Don't start to beat yourself up over it just yet my friend.
You've got a long way ahead and this is just the start.
Guess you can't bring along too many things on this road trip.
And expect a shyt load of people to hold them for you.
Coz don't forget, they have their own things to carry too.

?

CNY.V.

2010-02-13T23:44:00.005+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year and also Happy Valentine's Day to ya'll!

It definitely sucks to have Valentine's Day on the first day of Chinese New Year. But, I hope those of you out there whose got a special someone to celebrate with, had your V day schedule all planned out nicely. Whatever it is, get all them ang pau's, have a great year, and gamble all the way!

Lastly, to you, despite the whatever's that we had, thank you for everything.
I really enjoyed myself and I certainly hope that you did too. =*

Happy Holidays!

2.

2010-02-02T23:42:00.006+08:00

Eyes, it sees too much, it sees beyond.
New is never too new as in a minute it's gone.
A song, your favorite song for this season.
Could be the song you hate after for no reason.
As a racer, you race, against your own face.
You expect, your taste to be the only taste.
One side of the coin decided to face the ceiling.
Believe, you do, when you're hearing, seeing.
Only human, becomes your frequent blame.
The mirror shows a different view of the same.
A pinch on your skin to snap you back to reality.
Gray, so gray what are you looking for exactly.
Deeply hidden beneath the layered ground.
Lost in the dark, but chooses when to be found.
Far away you see, far away you cast.
How long do you want this sunshine to last.

2010-02-01T14:12:00.002+08:00

Another one just left this earth. Perhaps for the better.
A simple and honest man who is contented with
everything he's got. You will be missed definitely.

Take care, rest in piece.

Paint Nothing.

2010-01-31T01:55:00.001+08:00

Sometimes, it's not because you didn't wanna do something, or give something a try. Something's could seem so right, could seem like the missing puzzle in your picture but we choose to leave the last piece lying around on the table, and when it's missing or gone, we blame it on luck, we blame it on fate, blame it on every single thing except ourselves.

Fate, is just being itself, either pulling people apart, or putting them together. Yes, fate plays a part in most of our lives. And fate's role is really mainly about timing and chance grabbing. However, if you really wanted something, and you somehow did not get any of it, do not put all the blame on fate. Cause wanting something involves effort, it involves time, sweat and tears.

So yeah, there are so many things that we say we want, say we need, but did we really work hard enough to pursue what we claimed to be important to ourselves? Of what makes us happy and what makes us appreciate life so much more if we really gave more shyt about a certain something that's said to be making up a big part of our lives?

Much time passed by, still the missing piece is lying somewhere, waiting to be picked up, yet, no effort was made to look for the missing puzzle. The picture's hung up on the wall for so so long. It is a beautiful piece of art but it was never a perfect picture and that annoys us to the very core. Guess in the process of looking, we found relinquishment.

Later, the picture, although imperfect, it was left that way for such a draggy period that somehow, when we lay our eyes on it, it somehow seemed perfectly fine the way it is, with a missing piece, perfectly imperfect. That's when we tell ourselves, that maybe, it's really okay to leave it that way and fuck the missing piece.

Maybe certain things we assume would be better off if we let fate do the talking, let fate do the math so that when thing's go wrong, fate is to blame. If it's that way, perhaps, we should start to realize that, this painting, don't mean a shyt after all.

So why not just let it all go.

AHMOI. Apa Macam?

2010-01-30T12:36:00.004+08:00

It's totally the weather ain't it? It's so fucking hot that it's fucking boiling up the blood in me. Though yeah I took that shyt with a smile, I mean it was REALLY fucking okay. Until, I found ANOTHER fucking one sitting, hiding on my fucking windscreen. Like seriously, what the fuck did I do again? Don't even fucking remember. Get a fucking life and live it on your own instead of just reproducing more pile of shyts. Like hello, I know CNY is nearing... errr ... so? Idiotic mother fuckers. Saddening that their brains stopped developing right after they see this earth. I think I need my CLK back. It's so red that it wards off evil. Arh! sweet Jesus oh Lord! Please just fucking save my sorry little broke ass!

R101.

2010-01-27T22:50:00.001+08:00

It's as if heaven and hell is only divided by a tiny little step. Literally. As things went topsy turtle previously, the waves somehow tilted the sinking ship back to it's normal position and currently it's sailing towards the light, away from the storm behind.

So far so good. Hope it's not a calm before another crazy storm.

2010-01-25T22:42:00.002+08:00

I say it, I mean it.

Roundabout.

2010-01-21T00:03:00.007+08:00

Sometimes, somethings, are not based on only one matter that occurred. A tiny matter could seem a whole lot bigger when it is accompanied by other issues. Especially when they all come flying to your face at the same time. When shyts overload, your brains overload, and you tend to raise your voice or go all obnoxious over minor questions.

That's when the word sorry, doesn't even mean a thing. It doesn't fix or patch things up. It's just another useless word that helps emphasise the ringing in your ears that hurt your brains and add on to that mouth of air that never got to your lungs that's stuck in between your throat. Held on so stiffly, tried not to shift just so you don't shatter on the floors.

Your judgement goes all haywire. You loose the ability to see the big picture, to judge and to think from another point of view. Your eyes are as clogged as your brains when fire and heat are constantly being pumped into your blood. And really, the concept of cooling is simple, all you ever wanted was just simple words. Smartly structured simple words that could detach your self-building dissatisfied molecules that are piling up in your system by the second. You know that's all it takes to put out the overheated fire in you.

Unfortunately, to add salt to the wound, not only you did not hear what you wanted to hear instead, you got even more of what you did not want to hear. Of course, when we do hear it, it'll still be shyt because if not mistaken, positivity tend to disguise itself as negativity when one is fucked up. Well, it does happen most of the time, it's undeniable.

To worsten it all up, the previous days, you wake up everyday feeling like your wishes came true but only to get beaten down like a fly with some sort of invisible negative field. Contemplate, over and over whether or not to quit from being you, but how do you do so when you're you for so long? Can't ignore the fact that old habits die hard.

Yet again, you're left speechless. So out of words that at one very fine moment you feared that you'd stay speechless forever. Afraid that you might not know how to speak your mind or never again will be sure of what might be the right thing to say. What is really right and what is really wrong in the first place? Who's to blame when everything goes down in flames?

How do you go on fighting for something that you're starting to not believe in?

You knocked on God's door, but karma answered instead.

2010-01-20T01:11:00.000+08:00

Don't point to yourself and say, " I told you so! "

1111.

2010-01-18T23:11:00.001+08:00

It was like lightning, no one was fast enough to grab hold of it's shadow.
And the pot holes formed somehow seemed so deep but really, so shallow.
The bitter taste on the tongue was supposed to make one feel mellow.
But after a long day of travelling, voices of hope became so very hollow.

Burnt, as boiling water bursts out from the teapot's spout.
Choices of words are starting to bore innocent sinful souls out.
It is only clear that the mind's eye is challenged to be in doubt.
They left with conscience, leaving what never did came about.

Understand this, even if nothing can be understood from this.
Cause when the clock stops to tick, it will all just be passing by mist.
It may also seem like a murder scene with a great big twist.
The closing ceremony will always be a mystery that no one can resist.

2010-01-17T22:04:00.001+08:00

One day you woke up and you realized that,
you're not a fighter anymore.

January 13th 2010.

2010-01-13T23:24:00.000+08:00

Set foot on the streets.
Contemplate as the heart beats.
Every step, it gets dark a little.
Squint, as it starts to drizzle.
Don't blame the sky.
When one starts to cry.
What is rise and fall?
Without a call for a brawl?
And if the coldness burns.
It is a lesson one learns.

When the candle burns out.
The answer is, doubt.

CarCrash.

2010-01-03T02:13:00.010+08:00

It's a car crash, a sudden rush of adrenaline through your head.
When it hits you, you're lost, you're clueless and blank for a flashlight of time.
When your senses collide and reforms itself, the sound darts back into your ears, and it all becomes clear again.
So clear that you wished you'd stay drunk forever and that you'd remain silent in your given position.
Instead, a train of emotions come gushing through your flesh and you stand in fear as the force was so great you can't feel yourself anymore.
You're taken over, you're on autopilot. You let emotions steer you to your destination.
As much as you hated it, you're enjoying the flow of the ride.
There is no telling how fast this ride is taking you, even if you see yourself being blasted off to space, and rounding the earth in a second, you're just trusting the mechanism of this wonderland vehicle.
You might not come back down, you might not get to turn around and see the sun from earth, but you know that nothing else can be compared to where you are right now.
There's no place else you'd rather be than here at the exact point you said you'd not be.
You have taken many shortcuts that lead you to no where and you've missed a lot of turns that could've led you to somewhere.

So how sure are you that this time, you've picked the right track to be on? How sure are you that your wonderland vehicle would not one day run outta gas and crash millions of feet down to solid ground?

7 Days.

2009-12-27T02:21:00.005+08:00

I think that this world is such a big ass place. I can't even imagine what kinda force is needed to stop it from rotating. It seems like, we're all placed in the same sphere. But really, we are only confined in our own little spheres. These spheres we're in alone are not as hard to destroy as the one we're all in together. In fact, it is just as vulnerable as a balloon. A little needle action, and pop goes the weasel.

A little rain will drown you, a little force will shift you and a little push is all you need to come crashing down and break like an egg. So you need to pick the right path, pick your every step so that you can get to your destination in a piece.

To get shaken at times, but not to break. To withstand the weight of the world on your shoulders is never easy but what is easy? Nothing comes easy. Obviously, words and pieces of advise we seek when we go seeking for it is just to ease ourselves. To convince ourselves that the truth we thought was not as ugly as we assumed it was.

But how heavy is the weight of the world anyway? How much is much? How do we actually measure the forces that's bestowed upon us? I guess, sometimes, giving no shyt about things is not such a bad idea. But how do we even begin to not give a shyt when we've already given so much shyt in the first place?

And yes, I'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly. However, make believe and truly believing it is really a different story, cause planet earth does not turn slowly in my world or it's fair to say that it does not turn slowly in the real world.

Anyway, Christmas just went by like that. A little quiet this year I thought though. But it was a fine one.

=) Despite whatever, I hope everyone had a great one aight. Put whatever shyts aside, it's time to turn over a new leaf babies, time to grow up.

2009-12-19T02:10:00.000+08:00

I have tried countless of times to not poke on my backspace button after I've chained my alphabets together to construct a post with normal human being language. Thing is, sometimes you spend so much time constructing your own little language in your own little space that when it comes to a time when you need to speak human, you are outta words.

I'm guessing that lately, I haven't been much of a sensible person. I wonder, have I been falling asleep so much that I couldn't differentiate between my dreams and my real world happenings? Or did I not reset myself after a night of Disneyland dreams?

Someday , , ,

2009-12-14T22:06:00.002+08:00

I'll be...

Waiting for someday
Believing in someday
Praying for someday
Longing for someday
Clinging to someday
Cherishing someday

I'll be...

Thinking of someday
Dreaming of someday
Wishing for someday
Living for someday
Counting on someday
Knowing that one day...

I will see you

Tracks , , , ,

2009-12-09T01:34:00.003+08:00

Twinkly bulbs and shifting figures.
Swift thinking of pointing fingers.
Up the attic in an old black box.
Laid in order one two blocks.
Around the corner of a corner.
Sat a baggage with no owner.
Old racks bumming with dusty tops.
Empty streets with half closed shops.
Behind the counter with a cup of coffee.
It was half full, and was half empty.
A confined room with no open window.
One stone bed and a wooden pillow.

2009-12-03T20:47:00.002+08:00

sink.knife.into.stomach.twist.it.and.add.salt.while.using.
a.spoon.to.dig.out.both.eyeballs.from.socket.thank.you.

Right, Okay, Yeah, Sure, Fine, Alright, Certainly, Yes, Absolutely, Great, Cool, Awesome, Yay, Woo Hoo, Really?

2009-11-26T03:15:00.009+08:00

It could've been 10 years, 20 or even longer for all you care.
But a second is all it takes to turn a table into a chair.
It comes for you everyday, smiling widely outside your gate.
But it's just smoke being puffed out and you watch it as it fade.
You open your eyes and there's this bright sunshiny day.
But with just a blink of an eye, out of the blues, it's all dark and gray.
The puzzle you invest so much time in was almost done.
Before you put the last piece together you got shot with a gun.
You haven't committed any crime you haven't killed no one before.
Like a glass of water, you'd only get sucked up with a plastic straw.
You believe that it doesn't matter if the world sees it wrong.
There's bound to be one on earth who listens to your song.
It's okay if it is going, it's okay even if it's already gone.
If you died, please be reminded that, it's time for you to reborn.

Maybe it's true...

2009-11-23T15:46:00.002+08:00

You walked too fast ahead you never stop to look.
When you finally stopped and took a step back.
You said damn, this looked so much like it.
You realize that you're at the exact place.
The exact spot where you stood.
Your shoe prints are still stamped on it.
Of course you said bullshyt they ain't my shoe prints.
But the truth remains the truth my friend, you're back.
You used a different way but sorry it still led you back there.
What's funny is that you allow the same hand to lead the way.
That hand that held you throughout your journey,
is in fact the one that gave you the wrong directions before.
I know, this hand promised to not lead you back to your past.
But too bad, promises are meant to be broken.

Jokes on you, cause you fell for the same trick again.

HEEHEE!

=)

2009-11-22T02:44:00.004+08:00

Maybe for once, you felt like you're worth something.
Since the people you have your hopes on can't stop failing you.
Peasant, your whole life, for a moment you're queen of everything.
At the verge of losing all that you've got, you found something.
To get something amazingly awesome by not asking for it.
Even for a short moment, it still tasted like heaven.
The way it was presented to you without any hidden terms and conditions.
It was there for you and just for you and for nothing in return.
Great, is the word to describe it, as the outcome never failed you.

Maybe sometimes you are tired of being the clown.
Making smiles on peoples faces while you're left with your frown.
Yeah, seriously, I gotta admit, you're one hell of a talented clown.
But who the hell are you when you're make up is down?
You did really well but that doesn't mean you deserve a crown.
You're just a phony that walks around with a long ass funny gown.

=)

Nother.

2009-11-18T21:33:00.002+08:00

Even the brace to keep this in place has removed itself.
It rusted, deteriorated and worn itself off with time.
Though it was just like yesterday that these braces were new.
Somehow, it gave in, it gave up, it does not hold anymore.
The contents were more damaged than ever before.
Coz they relied so much on it and now that their brace is gone.
Contents know no more to sit where they are supposed to.
They are all over the place like ants bursting out from their ant hole.
Like a box of marbles that dropped out from a pair of supportive hands.
Bouncing and rolling all around, don't even know where to begin picking.
Maybe not picking them back up isn't such a bad idea.

It is almost impossible to find another picture to fit perfectly in that frame.
But it is not impossible to find a frame that fits the picture perfectly.

2009-11-17T00:54:00.002+08:00

Inching towards my destination in a snail like pace.
Frustrating. I've never felt like this since high-school.
The ready to go in and die without thinking.
The I don't care it's just some peanut case feeling.
I know I can't afford to lose this ticket.
It's too vital for me to throw it into the dustbin.
Yet, that's exactly what I am doing right now.
And I'm done asking and telling and talking shyt.
Coz deep inside there's always this grim that's hiding away.
I've seen it, I've felt it, hell I know it so well.
Too well.

You stopped smiling.
That's when I know, you're trustable no more.
I won't blame you for any of it.
Coz I know, I'll live.

Whut?

2009-11-15T15:03:00.014+08:00

Rio De Janeiro goin' down peeps.

So, I got rebellious and jeopardized my studies and went for a movie.
Yes you've guessed it, I went for 2012. Since almost everyone's giving it a 2 thumbs up, I had to.

Anyway, speaking of this movie, well, I kept picturing fake effects but I must say that I am pretty amazed with it. It was almost real. I was convinced.
I could tell that I was convinced cause I swear my palms were sweaty for holding a fist too long throughout the movie, and it was so darn cold in the cinema.
Although, the humans inside really had some bad ass luck on their sides, I didn't care this time.
I assumed that they were supposed to be the eyes and the ears in this movie acting as the main camera showing and telling the story and bringing in some very cliche suspense. Which worked well, though so cliche.

Well, overall, thumbs up from me for 2012. Got me thinking, if this happens, what WILL I do?
What would you do? Better treat your loved ones better you assholes, 2012's nearing. Haha..

OH compared to Jennifer's Body, I didn't wanna say it but I swear I almost killed myself when I walked out from the cinema. That only proved me so right to say, Megan Fox is so overrated, she was selling herself so cheap in this movie. Hot body that comes with a cheap price. It was almost like a cheap porn production. All I gotta say is, she's the man alright ;)

Alright, these are pictures of her in the process of " fucking " these little poor boys up.
Seen the picture clearly? Analyzed it? Great! you've just watched the whole movie.
Congrats, now thank me for giving you a free ticket to watch a movie slash cheap porn in 3 seconds while you're comfortably placed in your own room/home.

Look! she's burning her tongue, don't you just feel so turned on by that?
Well, I'm not cause I paid to watch this fucking shyt and it WAS the SHYT.

Mind you, I was totally clueless of what this movie was about.
It was a spontaneous choice! It happens! >=(

So alright, last dissing phrase, one minute she was this right,
hot and lovely walking down the alley,

and the next..

She was this...

Guys? are you guys still there? Still turned on?
So when I said " fucking " the poor boys up, I meant it.
She fucked them up into pieces.
Told you, she's the man ;)

Boo this whorer movie!

There's only ONE thing good about this movie,
some of the soundtracks are actually good.

try it out?

HEEHEE!

Scars on 45 - Beauty's Running Wild

2009-11-15T14:52:00.001+08:00

Turn around,
Hold me when I sleep.
It's so much better when you're lying next to me.
You turned your back upon another soul.
So much to say.
So much you'll never know.

Bear in mind the good times that we see,
And all the pressure it'll never come from me.
What a day to be left here on my own.
So much to say.
So much you'll never know.

And I said how can you just walk away
When time is growing cheap?
There's nothing here to keep you in this place.
And I know you think those pretty eyes
Are nothing much to see,
But beauty's running wild on your face.
Yeah, beauty's running wild on your face.

Turn around,
Can't you give me peace?
Cause all you ever did
Was cause me too much grief.
There's nothing left to say or even do.
I need some time to move to someone new.

And I said how can you just walk away
When time is growing cheap?
There's nothing here to keep you in this place.
And I know you think those pretty eyes
Are nothing much to see,
But beauty's running wild on your face.
Yeah, beauty's running wild on your face.

Ostrich Syndrome.

2009-11-13T00:00:00.003+08:00

There is a time, when some decisions are so hard to make. You've decided on which step you should take, yet you just can't take that one step. But you get bashed up so many times and each time you get punched in the face, you only headed back to your bed to sleep it off. The next day you wake up, you just forget that blow that you've taken for nothing. Your bruises fades off but your love for this place that you ought to leave is still striking with colour as if someone just painted it. So there now, you're still not eager to leave, though you must. Truth is, not one single person on earth can stand being slapped everyday in the face. You've got patience, loads of it, but it's just so much that you can give. You don't want to do somethings but somethings must be done for the greater good. Your own good. All these while, you're hidden behind a fog that blinds your visions. But you're lying if you said that you didn't know what was ahead and you don't know which way to move out from it cause you've been there and you've done that. So I say, stop lying to yourself and move beyond the fog, move ahead, move faraway, and when you turn to look, you'd come to realize that the god damn view is so darn good from your new position. You miss being in the fog not because it felt great, really, it's because you felt like it was a protective layer, screening you from harm. Like an ostrich, hide your vision and you think you hid everything. Truth be told, you're not being protected, you're covering your eyes to allow more harm done to you without you noticing. By doing so, you let your guard down, you're not looking around to avoid what's cutting you.

For so many reasons, have you started walking yet?
No matter what, I'll make sure you will.

2009-11-11T02:29:00.000+08:00

1 more week.

2MoreWeeks.

2009-11-05T23:50:00.007+08:00

| I made a run for it and never had a thought of heading back
| Ran so far away that even time wasn't a need for me to keep track
| Though the distance I travelled was far enough to avoid that scene
| I still find myself so near to the thoughts I swore to wipe them clean
| It isn't like a mathematical question laid on a piece of paper
| Use a formula and there you go you can proceed to another
| I thought that these grounds will never fail me, never shake
| Who would've thought that I'd be planning every step that I take
| Clear waters are turning muddy above the surface of the sandy ground
| I'd let go of everything that I've been hanging onto and let it all drown
| I know, the one thing I gave away was the only thing I needed to save
| If only it was lighter, If only I'd stop digging up my own grave
| Like a kite, I'd be flewn up high when I'm needed as the entertainer
| Pulled back down as the sunlight in the skies gets dimmer and dimmer

I Skipped.

2009-11-03T21:04:00.001+08:00

Usually, it stops in a short time.
This time it went on and on... and on.
Total meltdown.

You know for you, I would've done everything I could.
I can't continue to hold on to what you never believed in.
But thanks for making it seem like you did.
You can stay where you are and let me do the leaving.