Sometimes, somethings, are not based on only one matter that occurred. A tiny matter could seem a whole lot bigger when it is accompanied by other issues. Especially when they all come flying to your face at the same time. When shyts overload, your brains overload, and you tend to raise your voice or go all obnoxious over minor questions.

That's when the word sorry, doesn't even mean a thing. It doesn't fix or patch things up. It's just another useless word that helps emphasise the ringing in your ears that hurt your brains and add on to that mouth of air that never got to your lungs that's stuck in between your throat. Held on so stiffly, tried not to shift just so you don't shatter on the floors.

Your judgement goes all haywire. You loose the ability to see the big picture, to judge and to think from another point of view. Your eyes are as clogged as your brains when fire and heat are constantly being pumped into your blood. And really, the concept of cooling is simple, all you ever wanted was just simple words. Smartly structured simple words that could detach your self-building dissatisfied molecules that are piling up in your system by the second. You know that's all it takes to put out the overheated fire in you.

Unfortunately, to add salt to the wound, not only you did not hear what you wanted to hear instead, you got even more of what you did not want to hear. Of course, when we do hear it, it'll still be shyt because if not mistaken, positivity tend to disguise itself as negativity when one is fucked up. Well, it does happen most of the time, it's undeniable.

To worsten it all up, the previous days, you wake up everyday feeling like your wishes came true but only to get beaten down like a fly with some sort of invisible negative field. Contemplate, over and over whether or not to quit from being you, but how do you do so when you're you for so long? Can't ignore the fact that old habits die hard.

Yet again, you're left speechless. So out of words that at one very fine moment you feared that you'd stay speechless forever. Afraid that you might not know how to speak your mind or never again will be sure of what might be the right thing to say. What is really right and what is really wrong in the first place? Who's to blame when everything goes down in flames?

How do you go on fighting for something that you're starting to not believe in?

You knocked on God's door, but karma answered instead.

12:03 AM