There are so many hidden agendas in this fast moving life.
Never once I thought I could be so down beaten by my own actions.
The dead line is near and I'm standing on the edge.
Putting the weight off my shoulders but only to have more abhorrence
Traveling to my head
I'm in a desperate situation as I'm forced to be at war.
Reloading my guns and sharpening my swords as I'm preparing.
I'm left with only an inch of sanity in this cold body.
But I suppose at the end of it all, it's the insanity that keeps me alive. To help me resist the agonizing pain
I do not long for this to happen in no time but if it does, I've packed my belongings.
I am most likely to be fed with sardine in my sleep again. Soon after.
Yes it took me awhile to understand how to withstand a simple hand stand you made me do.
The best way to end this war is by slitting your throat standing on firm ground.
However, it would only be a victory of my own. Not hers. Not his.
Whatever the winnings should be it shall not be mine or yours, hers or his.

I know now that heaven you're the only one who can make me feel alive. Help me survive.
So unrelated yet, so effective heaven is, being my hospital, my medication.

You’re my resurrection.